insomnia, part i.

June 19, 2008

i can’t sleep.

sometimes, i look back at my past relationships, all of which can be categorized in one of two categories: mild, pleasant and short or intense, tragic and shorter yet. while i don’t knock the few ones in the first category at all, it’s the ones in the second category that get me thinking.

mostly, they get me wondering why i even bother trying, why i even bother considering that i have a hope in this game called “romance”.

problem is that there’s a gent on my mind. he’s been there for quite a time. and although there seems to be some evidence that he might be interested in me, he also seems way too good for me. unfortunately, he’s pretty much what i want in a guy…or would want in a guy. (if i were looking for a guy. which, i guess, deep down inside, i am, although i am reluctant to admit it.)

[see “insomnia, part ii.”]

i suppose that i’ve been taking camus to heart a bit too much.

my new job is pretty good, although i still don’t know what i’m doing there. officially, i’m supposed to re-design a survey relating to the jewish communities in four sub-regions of greater vancouver: richmond/surrey/delta/white rock, burnaby/new westminster/tri-cities, langley/pitt meadows/maple ridge and the north shore. only trouble is that the 2006 census did not ask questions of religion, which makes my job incredibly difficult.

fair enough, perhaps this job wouldn’t exist if statistics canada had done the logical thing and ask the question in 2006, but still. i have no idea how to find this variable and feed it into all the other variables to come up with a picture of the community. furthermore,

luckily, i have a plan, and tomorrow, it will start to come to fruition.

but that’s not what’s keeping me up.

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2 Responses to “insomnia, part i.”

  1. Jacob Medel Says:

    Oh romance.

    My rule of thumb is that if I’m interested, I’ll go for it, regardless of doubts around the outcome. Every adventure in to someone else’s life I’ve had I’ve had a great time (admittantly, a lot of bad times too), but each time I’ve learned who I am just a little bit more, and as a result come out a stronger human being.

    Also we are young. If there’s a time to be stupid, now is it! 🙂

  2. Jacob Medel, redux Says:

    Well, fuck. Just got out of a relationship where I didn’t learn who I was a little bit more.

    Fuck people. Bitches be dumb.


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