insomnia, part ii.

June 19, 2008

but still. he seems to want to hang out with me, which fills me with a bit of suspicion. i mean, there’s no chance that this gent actually would want to date me, right? ’cause if he did, well, it would have happened already…no?

y’see, i’m screwed either way. i chickened out with micajah, and it went bad. i took a chance with parker, and it went worse still. so if i pursue, or if i don’t pursue, i’m screwed. ’cause for him to actually like me and want to date me is not very likely…as much as i would love for my fantasy to be true.

i guess, after a few years of running around a bit, i just got sick of being with people who – at base – didn’t really care for me. and i have a lot of people that care for me – as friends. and they make me happy, and i am happy with them. extremely so. but after so much rejection in this department, i am honestly starting to doubt that i would appeal to anyone that i’d care for myself.

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