another night of insomnia.

October 13, 2009

maybe it’s the busy workweek ahead. maybe it is due to an unwise hit of caffeine earlier tonight. maybe it is the general malaise due to the busy events of the weekend which, while entertaining, left me with a degree of soul-searching.

or maybe it’s the other matter. the one that has been killing me for a month or two. the one that i’ll probably keep silent from the few people who should probably hear it most.

sometimes, i really hate the struggle that we all play out between mind, body and soul. in all honesty, i wish that i could turn my emotions off for the next two weeks or so. but ever since quinn led me to my realization, that is impossible. and it is for the best, i suppose, that i recognize that i’m feeling the way i am.

but i can’t stand that my true feelings likely harbour seeds of destruction. and the results of letting those seeds be sown would crush me more than i’m being crushed.

but i’m a big boy. and i will overcome this.

i just wish it were easier.


2 Responses to “another night of insomnia.”

  1. Milan Says:

    A bit of generic diphenhydramine helps when I have trouble sleeping.

  2. mkushnir Says:

    i wish it were that simple, milan. there’s no over-the-counter remedy to set my mind to rest on this one.

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