the last time i was here.

January 1, 2010

the last time i was here
in this warm room
perfumed by the salt of
an eastern sea
i was here with a stranger.

we had dressed in step.
lockstep even.
an army of james dean scattered across a city, country, just to say
“i am not what i am”
until whisky-induced laughs succumb to down and linen.

i was never here with you.
but still this place reminds me of you.
as one of the thousand places
we could have done the same thing, but never did.

and i’m really, really sorry about that.
and maybe you’re sorry too.
but you won’t say, and i won’t say,
and that is what kills me.

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