reflections on the past while.

July 28, 2010

“forgive me, father, for i have sinned.”

it hasn’t particularly been an easy path since my last update to the world. indeed, i’ve been lax on a number of fronts.

the troubles that had plagued me from october to march have – thankfully – been resolved. and the weight lifted from my shoulders has been rather liberating. however, they’ve brought a new number of issues.

i’m starting to reach the age where having some kind of a life partner would be desirable. unfortunately, i have no idea how to go about finding one. whereas the problem from before was that i was surely not in a position to seek out someone, the difficulty now seems to be that my old ghosts and demons are starting to haunt me.

’cause i know that, by the numbers at least, i’m a catch! but in order to find a mate, nothing less than perfection on my part will do in my head, and i know i am far from perfect.

and so i feel guilty for even considering looking for a partner and taking the requisite steps to find one – i can look for a partner once i’m perfect…’cause god knows they’ll never bother to keep me otherwise.

find a job. make some cash. get your own place. hit the gym. consume conspicuously.

instead, i’m still the bohemian, going back to school in september.

and i’m still single. and i’m ok with it.

but i won’t be for long.

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4 Responses to “reflections on the past while.”

  1. Milan Says:

    New social organizations have always been an effective place for me to meet romantic prospects, though finding someone who you really want to devote yourself to over a long span of time is always challenging.

  2. spbotc Says:

    Gays marry later. Just saying.

  3. jocelyn Says:

    the best way to find someone is to not take the steps to finding them. there’s no such thing. and it never works that way. 🙂

  4. mkushnir Says:

    i know, i know. you’re all 100% right.

    truth be told, there’s a guy out there i’ve been pining over for 3 months. but i can’t bring myself to develop it further.

    and that hurts.


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